Day by Day, Little by Little..

There were several more incidents throughout the pregnancy. One night we'd gone out, a bit of down time in our local. It started out well, chatting, laughing just a normal couple. It very quickly deteriorated to the point I was embarassed I had to leave. The raised voices were attracting far too much attention.

When we got outside I sat on the wall outside the pub, the coping stone was loose, so I moved along. Tony wasn’t going to let it go, whatever it was that he had taken issue with. He lifted the loose coping stone and threatened to smash it over my head.

The strange thing about this particular incident was that I actually wanted him to carry out his threat. I would then have proof that he was doing these things to me. Up to that point I had no evidence. I remember willing him to do it. I’m not religious but I prayed he would do it.

Tony had become quite contrived in his ways and his methods of abuse. He would actively encourage, almost force me to see friends and family. Only when I did he would constantly phone and text wanting to know where I was and how long I'd be. He would even turn up at friends’ houses, he was just passing, checking that I was in fact where I claimed to be.

He took to taking my car, despite having no driving licence, just to ensure that I couldn't leave the house. He always knew where I was. He checked my phone constantly. If he came across a number he didn’t know he'd ring it to see who it belonged to. God help me should a man have answered.

I survived the pregnancy and my beautiful little girl had arrived. A little bit of joy finally. Well no not really. Two maybe three weeks after she was born, Tony was in a bad mood. United had probably lost or something equally as tragic. Anyway I bore the brunt of his disquiet. I was holding my daughter in my arms gently rocking her to sleep. Tony walked through the living room to the dining room and with no warning punched me square on the nose, knocking me out. I'm still cradling my daughter when I regain consciousness on the floor. My nose was broken, and my daughter thankfully unharmed but her crystal white babygrow was now scarlet.

But it was all fine........ Tony was sorry.